Though They Don't Know....

Though they don't know, I lift all three of them up in prayer each breaking day.
Though they don't know, there is so much more I would like to say.
Though they don't know, at times with my hand held tenderly to my belly I remember how it felt to Take joy with each movement they made.
Though they don't know, when they were sick, by their side I laid.
Though they don't know, that simply because they grew up, they are no less on my mind.
Though they don't know, my heart breaks more as I fall further and further behind.

Though they don't know, their minds made up, no room in their hearts for me,
My tears flow freely, because they have chosen a hell for their mother, that they cannot see.
Though they don't know, I have re-lived each minute of each passing day
Getting real with myself and praying that they
Will take me down from this cross they have hung me upon
And know that only One was perfect and soon time will be gone.


Though they don't know, they collectively have killed
The very spirit of a woman, her happiness spilled.
Though they don't know that simply because one pretends
To be happy and joyful, the smiles fade, the show ends.


Though they don't know, they may never have thought,
That this hatred, the finger-pointing, this unforgiveness they live
Little eyes are watching, little ears will hear, and quite possibly
Will be the very learned examples the then adults will give.


No, I was never perfect, I never professed to be,
But with all of my heart I loved and still love
My children, all three.


I write this on an anniversary of sorts, for you see, 
One year ago today, my mother left me.
Just as I was not a perfect mother, 
Not a perfect daughter, no doubt.
But long before she left this earth I made sure
There was nothing to apologize for or feel guilty about.

To everyone I can, I spread the Good News and tell them, too,
"Don't wait too long, for we all can step back and see,
That the time on this earth is so short, This is my one plea:
Quickly make peace with the ones who have hurt you and the ones you have caused pain.
Because you never know if you will have the chance ever again."

I have written this without malice, not to guilt, to brag, or to be mean.
I wrote it as a love letter for my three: Joshua, Joseph, and Justine.